hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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