I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
