I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
