You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
