So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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