is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
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all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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