You smell like a Billy Joel song
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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