We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize