I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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