We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
