You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize