she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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