I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
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She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
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I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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