Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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