come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
