Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
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in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
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There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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