I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
