Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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