dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
