But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
