i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
How does it feel to date your dad?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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