After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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