i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
