I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
