Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
