so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
