i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
