She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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