you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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