RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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