just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
