I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize