Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
