You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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