So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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