My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
