there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm sobbing to NWA
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
