Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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