How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
