I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I understand Curling. That high.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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