No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
