Soap is not a condiment
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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