belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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