Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
