Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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