I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
