well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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