Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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