Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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