Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
