saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
