Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
