Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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