my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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