My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
