I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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