perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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